Pay attention to your self-talk.
I was struggling with an issue recently. Deep down, I knew I didn’t want to do something, but for some reason I was having a hard time making a final decision about it. So I meditated on the subject, and asked to gain clarity on the issue. That’s when a voice came through, loud and clear, reprimanding me, and telling me that “I better do” (this thing), because it’s “for my own good!”
The voice was bossy, harsh, and shaming. The voice was my own. It comes from this idea I’ve created of a taskmaster/parent/accountability-coach, but really it’s just this insidious contrivance that I somehow created along the way in order to keep me in line, and frankly, to abuse myself.
I suspect that most of us have some version of this voice rattling around in our heads. Especially those of us that are self-proclaimed go-getters, self-starters, and whatever other synonyms for ambitious that you can think of.
The thing is, we don’t have to abuse ourselves to become successful. And we certainly don’t have to talk to ourselves in a brutal, shaming tone. The answer I got from my meditation, was from actually hearing that stern voice, loud and clear, and realizing that I was struggling with my decision because I honestly didn’t want to do the thing, yet that supposedly well-meaning voice was badgering me into committing to it anyway.
Your feelings speak the truth. They will tell you what feels best for you. That’s not always the case with the self-talk that you say to yourself.