You’ve got to make a decision.
I read somewhere that you can’t sit on a fence for long, because it hurts.
It made a vivid point.
Fences are good for keeping one side separate from another, but they make awfully spiky seats.
So, pick a side, and make your peace with it.
Better yet, make peace with the other side too, and allow it to simply be the side that you’re not on at the moment.