I used to push myself to be good enough to belong in a life I didn’t really like. I thought I would finally like it if only I got better at navigating it. It was a convoluted expression of impostor syndrome.
Impostor syndrome is defined as a psychological pattern in which one doubts one’s accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.
The worst part of this for me was that I didn’t even like the life I was trying to fit in for anyway. That’s why I was trapped feeling like an impostor, because it didn’t come naturally to me. I was an impostor to that life!
What I can share as the lesson I learned from all of this, is that if you feel like you have to push yourself to fit in to a situation because you feel it’s for your own good, but it really doesn’t feel natural, then it’s best to just go for a different situation altogether. This one will never feel natural. It will only lead to a whole lifetime of pushing yourself despite feeling like a fraud.
So, check in with yourself, and be sure you authentically like the life that you’re leading.
