Flight attendants advise in case of an emergency, to place the oxygen mask on yourself first before helping others with theirs, even your own child’s.
This is because you will be of no help to anyone if you suffocate. Well, duh, right?
You can’t love if you don’t love yourself first. If you don’t give yourself love, you have no love to give. You can’t forgive anyone if you don’t have forgiveness inside of you to give. You don’t have forgiveness inside of yourself if you don’t forgive your own self first.
Taken from another angle, if you’re judging others, it’s because you hold judgment inside of yourself. How did that judgment get there? I’ll bet it’s because you’re judging yourself.
Forgive yourself. Love yourself. That’s how you fill your heart with those qualities. And that’s how you can have them as a resource to give to others.
Attend to your own heart first, before helping others with theirs.